When I was a child, my reality was shattered in the blink of an eye and is only now recovering. In elementary school, I had a close friend who ended up betraying me through intense bullying and pitting our entire grade against me. I was extremely isolated and never had a reason why. The next year, my father was murdered in my home. I thought it was going to be a new an exciting year and a way to move past being the outcast, unfortunately I was wrong. The night before he was taken, my father tried to tell my sister and I about death and what lies beyond. It's only now as an adult that I realize he knew what was going to happen, accepted the outcome, and that he was trying to prepare us in his own way.
I remember the day it happened in a blurry haze of traumatic images. He woke my sister and me up early to clean the whole house for our mother, which I deeply resented at the time. When he dropped us off at school he tried to tell us goodbye and that he loved us, but the school attendants were busy ushering in children and our final goodbye was short. It wasn't long after that that the school went into lockdown mode and everyone could tell it was not a drill, despite the best attempts of the teachers and staff. Something was off to me and I was trying to calm myself down with a book but I knew something was wrong, something involving my family.
The next thing I knew my aunt was taking my mother, sister, and me to her house far away while red and blue lights danced on my lawn. Middle school was a blur and with my father's cold case fresh in my mind it felt like an endless nightmare. The staff tried to place me in a therapy program but when the other children were there because they lost their 98 year-old grandfather in his sleep, it didn't really help. Thankfully, there was one teacher in my final year that altered the course of my life and made me want to live again. High school came around and I finally blossomed and started to live again.
I was determined to live and thrive and so I did. I met my future soulmate, amazing friends, traveled to a different country, got awards and praise from others, and thought I was finally ok again. Because of the hardships I faced, I got a full ride scholarship to college where I joined the SGA and grew more into myself. Not many woman in my family earned a degree, but I finally got one and aimed for a Bachelor's degree next. I now have that and more importantly I am happily engaged to my partner who encourages me to be a better person and to allow myself to grieve. There's much more to my story but it's not over and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.